How Do I Tell My Ex I Am Pregnant

How should I tell him I'm pregnant with his baby?

I'm 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant. The father of the baby left me for his ex girlfriend just after our baby was conceived. The baby wasn't planned, and I thought i was in a loving relationship. Before i took the pregnancy test i hinted to him that i might be pregnant, but he thought it was a way to get him back, and told me to never contact him again. Now that I am pregnant i don't know if i want to tell him, although i feel this isn't right! and i'm afraid that he will think im lying. what are your views on this ? should i tell him or not ?

a BabyCenter member

Asked 7/31/11

Mom Answers (75)

• Best answers
• Most recent

BEST ANSWER

I think you should tell him. I had sort of a similar situation. I found I was pregnant and immediate told my SO who did a total 360 and said some pretty harsh things to me and I told him to lose my number. I nearly cried every night and didn't have any close friends worth confiding in so I just suffered until I mustered up the strength to tell him about himself via text. We argued back and forth which helped me realized that I could do this alone. I stopped texting him and ignored any texts that he sent. About three weeks later, he had a change of heart and now he's more excited about the baby than I am. In short, things can only get better with or without him so do mention it. If he comes around, great, if not, his loss...good luck with everything.

I had to deal with something close to what you are dealing with. I was messing around with this guy at work and ended up getting preganant. Two weeks before I found out he started dating someone. It was really hard to tell him what was going on. However after spelling the beans he went to my dr apt with me and he is really cool about everything. I am due in just 3 weeks and we are both very happy to have our daughter you dont have to be together to raise a baby together just point that out.

I think you should definately tell him, he needs to know. My step sister actually went through the same exact situation as you. You definately need to tell him, and if it will get him to believe you, tell him you'll take a pregnancy test right in front of him. He cannot shut you out just because he's not with you anymore, he had the responsibility to lay down with you so he should have the same responsibility as a man to be there even if he doesn't want to be with you, he needs to be there for the baby and the situations you'll be going through during prengnancy. Good luck :)

Im in somewhat also in the same situation. My ex and I broke up a month ago and I found out two weeks later that I was pregnant. I hestitated to tell him but thought it would only be right if I did. He told me he wanted an abortion because we were not financially and mentally ready. I told him no and than he said fine that he will be apart of it. He says he will be there but never is. He has yet to go to the doctor with me. His words and actions are very different. Now he is dating someone else. So I am completely heartbroken. Because I know he will never be there. My advice is to tell him but not expect anything from him. Think about what you want and not what he wants. There is no gurantee he will be there but if you dont expect it you wont be hurt. And in case he does change his mind it will be like a bonus. Think of you and the baby. Let him know so he can never say you never told him and it will be his decision alone if he stays or leaves. Stay Strong we are there for you!

a BabyCenter member

Answered 8/16/11

Recent questions in Pregnancy Health & Wellness

This is an awkward situation for you and him to be in. There are various things you might want to consider. Are you expecting him to play an active role in your lives in the future? Are you willing to allow him back in your life after he dismissed you so easily? I have a friend who let her ex-boyfriend know she was having a baby, but she didn't want him in her life - whether it be in child support, visitation, etc. She has been successfully self-reliant without the dad's help for 4 years, but there have been times when she wonders what her DD's life would be like if [DD's] "real" dad were a part of her life. Try to keep in mind that you need to take a closer look at what will be IF you do and/or don't tell him. If he's willing to write you off so easily so early in the pregnancy you'll need to consider what will happen if he continues to write you off in the future. But telling him, even if he reacts the same way, is probably the best idea. Good luck in everything and Congratulations!

It is a very difficult situation, but you should definitely tell him. Make it clear that you do not want him back, but that this child will need a father for financial and most importantly emotional support. It will be easier in the first few years to ignore this "father", but when your child gets school age and sees other kids' daddies, it will be heartbreaking for you and your baby. I think the earlier you tell him, the better. He may be distant during pregnancy, but that;s fine (invite him to doc appointments, send him sonogram pictures if he can't go); once your little one arrives it will be hard for him to resist that bundle of joy (if he has a heart). Make sure you have a good support system. And remember: the less drama you create, the harder it will be for him to stay away from the baby. The best of luck to you!

Popular questions in Pregnancy Health & Wellness

If you are certain you're pregnant, you've got to tell him! I was only with my boyfriend for four months before I found out I was pregnant. His ex girlfriend lied and manipulated him about pregnancy and miscarrying previously, so I was terrified to tell him. It takes two to tango though and if he's a real man, he will understand and support the two/three of you to make the best decision for you. If he's not and he wants to leave, then you know where you stand with him and you can consider you're best options for you and baby, because it won't be a baby forever, it's your CHILD! Stay strong, but let him know what's going on. The last thing you want is him to ask you why you're getting sick and bigger 6 weeks later...

He has the right to know, I would tell him that you are pregnant and when your due date is, what he does with the info is on him, but he has the right to know

Tell this man that he is about to be a father ASAP. Should you really keep THIS a secret ??

If I were you I would until after the First Trimester! You are in a fragile state and you want to make sure you don't miscarriage due to fighting and stress. Wait till the fourth or fifth month. He said "don't ever contact me again" because he already knows that you are pregnant. He knew right before he left you to go back to his ex. Some men can feel this in their minds and this is why he is acting so mean. Tell him you intend to collect Child Support only AFTER the baby is born! I am going through a similar story. We fight every week about child custody, his ex girl calls me to say I am ruining their relationship and I find the drama funny. Be prepared for loads of BS on their end. KEEP THE BABY! Please be strong and remember this will blow over after the baby is in your arms. Don't let this man get away with it. Go to Child Support Services after the baby and you feel that it is time to do so. He is flipping just because he knows he is stuck with paying. This is not your problem!

How Do I Tell My Ex I Am Pregnant

Source: https://community.babycenter.com/400_how-should-i-tell-him-im-pregnant-with-his-baby_9591975_332.bc

Share this post